Decisions

There comes a time in every one's life where a big decision has to be made. Some decisions are trivial and only effect the now. Others send out little ripples that change the future only slightly. Still others send tsunamis out that not only effect your life but the lives of those around you. They not only effect it but they change it. They make an impact so deep it can take years to see all that changed based on this one singular decision. We all have these decisions to make. We make them all the time. Still some are difficult.

I spent six years getting my bachelors and masters degrees. Six years is not a little amount of time. Not to mention the money involved. I spent two years trying to get the boys. That too is not a little amount of time. Not to mention the money and emotion involved. Doing these things required BIG decisions. They were not things I entered into lightly.

This week I had another BIG decision to make. A very good friend talked to her school about me. They will be hiring next year. I could have possibly had my own classroom. That is something I worked hard for, something I wanted for a long time. BUT now I have the boys. So what to do? The money would be nice but that would put the boys in daycare and I would miss out on a lot. So to make this long story a little shorter after tears and much math. Erick and I decided that the majority of our long term goals could be put off. That Owen and Ethan need me more than we need the money. I am putting off teaching for one more year in order to stay home with the people who matter most to me in the world. I think the boys will understand why they didn't always get the biggest and the best toys. BUT I don't think I could understand why I put money over my children.

Before this post offends anyone let me end by saying that in these tough economic times there are many families that need the second income in order to survive. I am so grateful that in this is not us and Erick is secure enough in his position that I am able to take this time off.

The Interview

Well I had my interview yesterday. I got all ready and arrived about 20 min early. Another candidate was in there when I arrived though she wouldn't be my first choice based on what she did. Finally it is my turn I am told that the table ad chair in the middle of the room are for me. There were not 7 people like I was told but only 5. One of which I had interview with before. I am told that I have 20 min to answer questions and a 10 min lesson. OK Im ready. I answer my questions it seems like it is taking forever. Time for the lesson I describe it and hand things out. They do the first part then decided it was a waste of time to do the second. When they didn't want to do the second part all I am thinking is shoot Im screwed. In my lesson they had to write a friendly letter, hand it to a friend to read it and draw the monster, then the letter and drawing could me handed back and we would discuss if they were the same. Without the drawing of the monster we couldnt discuss it. So my whole interview that should have taken 30 min took just about 15min. Then I was told there are no openings at this time but it is expected to know of some in 2 weeks if I dont hear from them I have to call. So really I dont think it went to well but who knows maybe they understood and saw where I was going and didnt need the rest of the lesson. better luck to me next time.

Good news

Received some of the best I could have gotten today. Normally I do not answer my cell when I do not know the number but I did this time. i was surprised when it was Tracy Unified they are in the next phase of hiring and are inviting the top 10 candidates to a panel interview and I am one of the 10. The interview will be with 7 principals and I will have to teach a lesson the to panel. i am so excited. My interview is May 2nd so wish me luck.

Time of death... 11am

Here is the warning this post may have TMI. I am not saying it does as at this point I have not written the rest but based on what inspired this I think it does.

So it all started yesterday I started having pink only when I went to the bathroom. My temp also dropped. I was so excited for this cycle. The clomid and getting a confirmation on actually ovulating. Then my chart looked great textbook even. Such high hopes all to be dashed this morning with what is best described as more than just pink when going to the bathroom. What makes this even worse is I want Erick even more and just cant do it. This is just cruel. Nature is mean. Not only do I not get what I want so badly but I cant even have sex with my husband. Now I have to be sure and call the Dr first thing in the morning so that they can squeeze me in for a check and to get my new script of clomid at a higher dose. I will once again get poked prodded and most likely get the camera shoved up my cooch while bleeding so that once again i can take pills that will keep me up at night and sick in the morning and most likely get nothing out of it.

To add to the insult yesterday I went to a recruitment fair for teachers and was told that I was going to be hard pressed to find a job for next year because I am in a saturated field right now and that nothing about my degree is special. One more thing to look forward to. Grrrrraaaate. So if all else fails I will spend a year subbing but I think we may move. I think that Stockton is getting to small. I want to move north. Before I get messages freaking out no this is not for sure and no it is not something at has been discussed in depth so dont worry it is not going to happen tomorrow.

OK so some good news Ericks mom thought we needed a vacation so she is sending us to LOS VEGAS FOR THREE DAYS. I know it isnt a lot of time but it is better than nothing and she is footing the bill for the plane and the hotel. Woooo Hooo. Well that about sums up everything right now.

Interview Update

I know that I should have posted this yesterday but what can you do I took a nap after getting sunburned at the street fair. I got the the interview location about thirty minutes early. When I walked in the handed me a bag of goodies. Once inside they had refreshments and booths for us to talk to. At my selected time I went to an orientation and learned all about the district, schools, population, and staffing needs. Immediately after the orientation I went straight to my interview. This is where things went sour. This interview was identical to my first interview. They did not ask me one thing pertaining to any of the documents that I turned in. So now I am wondering if I was misled. Tomorrow I will call HR and ask if this was right. I mean at least I new the questions and had answers to them.

Confusion Thy Name is....

I know I am new to this but sometimes I just want to be one of those people that has things fall in their lap. I really thought that sticks you pee on would be easier than this. I have been taking OPK the last three days. Day 1 no second line. Day 2 faint second line. Today again no line. I thought in all my readings that getting a faint line meant that lines were supposed to over time get darker not get disappear all together. So now I am just really confused. Then again when am I not confused about what my body is doing. Cant something go textbook?

So my interview is now just hours away and I could not be looking more forward to it. I will let you know how it goes tomorrow.

Not as bad as I thought

A little update about medications and life. I have finished taking Clomid and I only had a few hot flashes, nausea, and mood swings. Though it was not fun it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I took a mental health day today and ditched class. I just needed to spend some time with Erick. Before Erick could relax he wanted to finish the laundry he started a few days ago so I pressed my suit for my interview. I am so ready for this I am going to blow them out of the water. I hope all who are reading this are having as good of a day as I am. The funny thing is even with the few large assignments I have coming up with school the only thing I am really worried about is my blood work I have to go in to do on the 15Th. That blood work will determine our next step. Oh BTW in total since January 21 I have lost 42 pounds. OK going to go watch a movie with Erick.

Things looking up

So my boss called me last night to talk and said he finally got it. He told me to sleep in and take my time. When I got in the office he took me out to lunch to talk about how we can make this better. I am really happy he did this. Now if only i could get my other boss to have it click. I sent her the doc that she wanted by this morning at about 7 last night and still haven't heard from her. Oh well. I haven't been feeling to well in the morning it is not terrible but it is hard to eat. I have now lost more than 40 pounds. wooo hooo!

Maybe Im the fool

I had a horrible day at work today. My commitment to the job was questioned as was how hard I was working. I am in a tight situation because my work pays for 90% of my tuition as well as giving me a nice set check. I am salaried for 20 hours per week. I am given a lot of computer based creative projects and was told I could work from home at times. Well when I was given a large or complex project I ask if there is any reason I have to be in the office. If I am told no I go home complete the project and email it back when done. The problem is I have 3 bosses and no one to really report to. None of my bosses talk or let the other one know what I am doing/ what they have given me. They are very busy people and often out of the office so I have to contact through email. I tried to express concerns about my workload and got the brushoff. That was until today when I was questioned as to if I was doing the work I was being paid for. That hurt me. I have worked for this office for 5 years, they know me. I am a hard worker and often do projects and create things that are more than what was asked for because I know its coming. After 5 years I can read them. I am often complemented on my work and this is bull. Maybe I need to start just telling them sorry I have already but my 20 hours in for this week and Im going home even if it is only wednesday see you next monday. I cant keep going on like this. So after one of the people above me told me this and I effectively had to prove what I have done (even though projects and information are turned in every day) I was finally understood. It finally clicked to him that both of them where giving me a weeks worth of work. So now we will see if things actually get better.

School Work and Meds

Really not a lot going on.So things right now have been a lot of school, work, home, sleep, then repeat. I am behind in all my classes and forgot an assignment that was due today. I have done a lot of prep for my interview sat. I have a few great outfits that I will post soon to get opinions on. I have a big event that I am coordinating at work and I cannot tell you how happy I will be when this is over. The hard part is that this event is the same day as my blood test so I have to figure out how to be in two places at once. I have got to tell you that clomid sucks. I am sick to my stomach from the time I wake up until lunch. Ok Erick is in bed waiting so off I go.

Good news

Knock knock... Who's there... Your future. I received an email today.  I was very excited when I saw who it was from.  Once I opened it I was jumping up and down.  The email was from one of my top two districts that I want to work for.  I have an interview with them in 8 days I am super excited.  I would love to work for this district and I really hope I get this job.  Cross your fingers for me.  I will keep you posted.