No longer a bitter betty

Sometimes it takes someone on the outside to really point out what is going on in the inside. A great friend pointed out how negative my blogs were sounding and was concerned at that because its not like me.  So I went back, reread them and she was right.  I want to apologize to those that have been reading.  Life really is not that bad.  The blogs just seem to reflect one side of the situation.  I really am happy with the progress we have made in our treatments and with the relationship between Erick and I that really has been strengthened by this long journey.  Admittedly I was pulling away from some because of personal feelings but in the same breath I can only push myself on them so far.  I can not force those that are avoiding me to talk to me.  This is my promise to you that I will do my best to be more positive and complete in my reporting of events from this point on.  However, with this being our first month back to being allowed to try there are a few details that I am keeping to myself.  I will not be telling you what cycle day I am on as  I don't want to be hounded every day or asked if I decided for start on day 3 or 5.  I will however keep you updated on most other things and will tell the results of the cycle once over.  I do realize that those that say the stupid comments only said them because they love me and don't know what else to say.  I really do love them for trying.  I know for some of those that read this it is hard because 1) they have never been around someone this open with the issue 2) they have concerns about outing their own issues 3) they don't know what to say and nothing is easier than figuring out what to say.  I love you.  It takes strength to post a comment (nothing gets posted without my ok.  The topic can only be considered wrong to talk about if we make it that way.  To those that have been reading but not talking to me, emailing me personally or commenting I am thinking of you.  Are you thinking of me?  To the wonderful nesties that come here to look in on me, I hope you get your wish soon.  I may not believe in god but I can send good thoughts your way.  

So now my happy thought for the day.  I spent the day visiting a wonderful family that I haven't seen in a couple of years.  I took my mom to their house because her best friend from her childhood is their mother/grandmother.  I had babysat these kids for 3 years in high school.  I love these kids and this family.  I think about them often and it was great to see how big they are.  I was greeted with hugs and kisses and almost knocked down.  One of my favorite memories of them was right after baby #3 was born.  This baby was the first together for mom and dad.  Kids 1 and 2 were young 3 maybe 4 years old and were on the bath together.  Mind you kids 1 and 2 were brother and sister well sister had brothers legs pinned to the side of the tub coaching him to "push push got to get the baby out" LOL I think they were a little mixed up but I about died laughing.  I don't think they will ever live this story down hence the reason the names were left out of the story.  

So in conclusion,  those that know me in real life for heavens sake talk to me.  The more we talk the more you understand and the less bitter I am which will make you want to talk to me more.  In exchange I will try to paint a more accurate picture and show you that I really am not what it looks like I am from this blog.  When I hit publish post I am agreeing to my side of this, will you agree to the side I am proposing for you?And here is the rest of it.