Sick and twisted

So I am sitting here thinking about how the mind works.  Its funny really as you get fat you don't see it because you don't want to believe it is happening.  So even though the jeans don't fit and you have to buy a bigger size (if you even admit that) when you look in the mirror you see yourself the way you think you look.  Then something clicks be it on your own, because someone tells your "hey lard butt move your fat ass" or when the 6th person in a month asks you when your due and you decide it is time to do something.  You work your butt off trying to get thin and what happens?  Your mind plays another trick on you.  I have lost 34 pounds and counting to date from the first of the year.  

I hear that I look good but I just do not see it when I look in the mirror.  So I decided to do a little test that lead me to make the image above.  I was going to look at a before and after shot and you know what?  I still do not see it.  I know I am down 34 lbs and I know I am down 2 pant sizes and none of my clothes fit.  I am able to do things now that I couldn't before (physically speaking) but I still don't see myself any thinner.  So I have decided that my mind and body image is sick and twisted.  But how does one go about changing the way that they see themselves.  The kicker in all this is when I am dreaming or close my eyes and think of what I look like I am a skinny minnie.  Now how is that for sick and twisted?